04 August 2025
Bringing up the idea of a prenuptial agreement (prenup) with your partner isn’t exactly romantic—but it can be one of the healthiest and most practical conversations a couple can have before marriage. For modern families in San Diego and beyond, where career goals, property ownership, and blended families are more common than ever, a prenup can offer clarity, security, and peace of mind for both partners.
At Enright Family Law, we know that marriage today looks different than it did a generation ago. Whether you’re entering a marriage with personal assets, children from a previous relationship, or a business, a prenup isn’t a plan for divorce—it’s a tool for intentional communication. Here’s how to approach the conversation with care, confidence, and respect.
Start the Conversation Early
Timing is everything. You don’t want to wait until wedding planning is in full swing or just weeks before the ceremony to introduce the idea of a prenup. This can lead to misunderstandings or even create pressure that undermines the agreement’s enforceability.
Start the conversation early in your engagement or even before. Approach the subject during a calm, private moment—when you both have time to talk openly and without distractions. By bringing it up early, you signal that this is an important discussion, not an ambush.
Frame It Around the Relationship, Not the Fear
Instead of beginning the conversation with, “I want a prenup because I’m afraid of divorce,” try something more thoughtful like:
- “I think it’s important that we have a clear financial plan before we get married.”
- “I want us to talk about our expectations so we’re both on the same page.”
- “We both have worked hard for what we’ve built—I think a prenup can help us protect each other.”
A prenup is a financial and legal agreement, but at its core, it’s also about respect. When framed as a way to strengthen your relationship rather than protect yourself from it, the conversation becomes much more collaborative.
Be Honest About Why It Matters to You
Whether it’s about protecting family assets, ensuring the future of children from a previous relationship, safeguarding a business, or simply maintaining financial independence, be honest about your reasons. Most people are more receptive when they understand the “why” behind a difficult conversation.
You might say:
- “I want to make sure we both feel secure going into this marriage.”
- “My family has asked me to have this conversation—it’s part of my responsibility.”
- “It’s important for me to know we’ve talked through how we’d handle things if life took an unexpected turn.”
Honesty builds trust, and transparency about your motives will help your partner feel like an equal participant—not someone being controlled.
Emphasize Mutual Benefits
One common misconception is that prenuptial agreements only protect the wealthier spouse. In reality, prenups can benefit both partners by:
- Clarifying how assets and debts will be handled
- Preventing long, expensive court battles in the event of divorce
- Addressing spousal support expectations
- Protecting both partners’ income, inheritances, and retirement funds
Let your partner know this isn’t just about you—it’s about creating a fair, customized agreement for both of you that’s better than whatever the state would impose by default.
Encourage Independent Legal Advice
It’s important that both parties have the opportunity to consult their own attorneys. This not only ensures that the agreement is fair and fully understood, but also that it will hold up in court.
Encouraging your partner to get independent legal advice shows that you respect their rights and want them to feel empowered in the process. It also removes the perception that you’re trying to “sneak something in.”
Be Prepared to Compromise
Prenuptial agreements aren’t take-it-or-leave-it documents. They should be negotiated, not dictated. Be open to your partner’s concerns, and approach the agreement like a collaborative project.
Ask your partner what matters most to them financially and emotionally. Maybe they want to include provisions about future earnings, how to handle joint purchases, or what happens if one of you sacrifices career opportunities for the family. A fair and balanced prenup often involves compromise from both sides.
Consider Professional Support
If the conversation feels especially difficult or emotionally charged, working with a family law mediator or counselor can help. These professionals can guide both of you through tough topics, encourage fairness, and facilitate a process that feels constructive—not confrontational.
As a law firm that works with modern couples in San Diego, we’ve seen how prenups can be a powerful tool for emotional clarity. Sometimes, simply having a neutral third party in the room can help keep the conversation grounded and productive.
Reaffirm Your Commitment
Remember to reassure your partner that discussing a prenup doesn’t mean you don’t trust them or believe in the marriage. In fact, many couples find that the process brings them closer together.
A healthy way to end the conversation might be:
- “Talking through these things makes me feel more connected to you.”
- “I’m excited about our future and want to make sure we’ve taken care of each other in every way.”
- “No matter what the document says, I’m marrying you because I love you.”
When done with care and compassion, a prenuptial agreement can be an extension of your love and a reflection of your shared values.
How We Can Help
At Enright Family Law, we specialize in helping modern couples have real conversations about the future—without judgment and without pressure. If you’re thinking about introducing the idea of a prenuptial agreement to your partner, our team can guide you through the legal and emotional considerations with clarity and care.
We help draft custom, enforceable agreements that reflect your unique relationship and protect both parties’ interests. We also offer consultation for individuals or couples who want to approach this process together with fairness and respect.
Reach out today to schedule a private consultation and take the next step in building a strong foundation for your marriage.
