First 10 Steps to Take When Considering Divorce

Deciding to end a marriage is never easy. Whether the idea has been building for months or surfaced more recently, the thought of divorce often brings a wave of uncertainty, fear, and practical questions. What happens next? What are your rights? Where do you begin?

At Enright Family Law, we support modern families through every stage of separation and divorce. Whether you’ve built a life with children, own property, or simply want a peaceful resolution, taking smart, informed steps early on can protect your emotional well-being and legal standing.

Here are the first 10 steps to take when considering divorce.

1. Take Time to Reflect

Before making any legal moves, take time to reflect on your emotions and motivations. Is divorce the right decision? Are there unresolved issues that could be addressed in counseling or therapy? A clear mindset is essential for navigating the next steps. Many people benefit from speaking with a therapist or trusted confidant before beginning the process.

2. Educate Yourself on California Divorce Laws

California is a no-fault, community property state, meaning you don’t have to prove wrongdoing, and most assets and debts acquired during the marriage are split equally. Knowing your rights and understanding how California courts handle divorce, custody, and property division can help you plan more strategically.

3. Gather Financial Documentation

Your financial life will be closely reviewed during divorce. Begin organizing:

• Tax returns (past 2–3 years)
• Pay stubs and income records
• Bank, retirement, and investment accounts
• Credit card and loan statements
• Property deeds, mortgage statements, and rental agreements
• Business ownership records (if applicable)

Having this information early helps your attorney understand your financial landscape and avoid surprises later.

4. Open a Private Bank Account and Email

If you’re leaning toward divorce, it’s wise to create some privacy and financial independence. Open a bank account in your name only and consider setting up a private email address for legal communication. Be discreet and ensure your new accounts are secure and confidential.

5. Consult with a Family Law Attorney

You don’t have to file for divorce right away to benefit from legal guidance. A consultation with a family law attorney—especially one who understands modern family dynamics—can give you clarity on your rights, obligations, and options.

At Enright Family Law, we help you understand the likely outcomes for child custody, asset division, and support—before you make life-changing decisions.

6. Consider Your Living Situation

Think about whether it’s safe or emotionally feasible to remain in the same home during the separation. If you plan to move out or ask your spouse to, know that leaving the home can affect temporary custody or financial decisions. If children are involved, stability is key.

Consult with your attorney before making any big changes to your living arrangement.

7. Start Thinking About Custody (If You Have Children)

Start considering what custody arrangement would be best for your children. California favors arrangements where both parents stay actively involved, unless there is abuse or neglect. Begin thinking about parenting schedules, school pickups, holidays, and communication methods.

Avoid discussing these plans with your children until you’ve spoken with your attorney and possibly your spouse.

8. Avoid Large Financial Moves

Now is not the time to:

• Drain joint accounts
• Transfer property or assets
• Make major purchases or sales

Such actions can be seen as bad faith or financial misconduct and may be reversed by the court. Keep your finances steady and transparent unless otherwise advised by your attorney.

9. Build a Support Network

Divorce is emotionally taxing, even in amicable cases. Build a strong support system that may include:

• Therapists or counselors
• Friends and family
• Support groups
• Divorce coaches

Having a group to lean on can help you stay grounded and avoid burnout while dealing with paperwork, emotional strain, and the challenges of restructuring your life.

10. Document Important Interactions

Begin keeping records of any significant conversations or behaviors—especially if custody, financial misconduct, or emotional abuse might become part of the case. Save emails, texts, and notes from verbal discussions. These may become important later if disputes arise.

Also, write down any specific goals or concerns you have about the divorce process so your attorney can create a personalized strategy for your case.

How We Can Help

At Enright Family Law in San Diego, we guide individuals and families through one of life’s most difficult transitions with empathy, clarity, and skill. We understand that modern relationships don’t always fit the traditional mold, and we believe in creating smart legal strategies that align with your values and goals.

Whether you’re just beginning to consider divorce or are ready to move forward, our team can help you protect what matters most—your children, your peace of mind, and your future.

Contact us today to schedule a confidential consultation and take your first step toward a more secure tomorrow.