04 August 2025
Contemplating divorce is never easy. It often follows months or even years of emotional strain, difficult conversations, and personal reflection. For modern families—where finances may be shared, children may be co-parented across blended households, and life is anything but traditional—the decision to pursue divorce brings even more layers of complexity.
At Enright Family Law, we understand that no two relationships look alike. If you’re considering divorce, knowing your rights and taking the right first steps can make a major difference in how the process unfolds. Below, we outline a thoughtful and strategic approach to beginning this life-changing transition with clarity, care, and confidence.
Step 1: Get Emotionally Grounded
Before making any legal decisions, take time to understand your emotional readiness. Divorce is not just a legal process—it’s a personal transformation that affects nearly every part of your life. Try to separate the emotional aspects from the practical ones. This clarity will help you communicate more effectively, make sound decisions, and protect your future.
Consider speaking with a therapist, counselor, or divorce coach. These professionals can help you process emotions, build support systems, and prepare for the changes ahead—whether or not you ultimately decide to move forward with divorce.
Step 2: Understand California Divorce Basics
California is a no-fault divorce state, meaning you don’t have to prove wrongdoing to file for divorce. Irreconcilable differences are enough. Additionally, California operates under community property laws, which means that most assets and debts acquired during the marriage are generally divided 50/50 unless a valid agreement (like a prenup) states otherwise.
To file for divorce in San Diego County, one spouse must have lived:
- In California for at least six months, and
- In San Diego County for at least three months
Once filed, there is a mandatory six-month waiting period before the divorce can be finalized, even in uncontested cases.
Step 3: Gather and Organize Financial Information
One of the most important first steps is gathering all relevant financial documents, including:
- Tax returns
- Bank and investment account statements
- Mortgage documents or rental agreements
- Credit card and loan statements
- Pay stubs or income records
- Business ownership or valuation documents
- Retirement and pension accounts
This information will be used to determine property division, spousal support, and (if applicable) child support. Being organized gives you and your attorney the foundation for a strong and efficient case.
Step 4: Consider Your Living Situation
Do you plan to stay in the same home during the divorce process, or do you need to make new arrangements? If children are involved, will you and your spouse cohabitate temporarily, or will one of you move out? These decisions can have legal implications, especially in cases involving custody.
Unless there is a threat of harm or abuse, avoid making drastic changes (like moving children out of school districts or selling assets) before discussing them with a lawyer. The way you handle your living situation during this time can affect court decisions down the road.
Step 5: Think About Custody and Co-Parenting
If you have children, start considering what type of custody arrangement you believe is in their best interest. California courts encourage both parents to maintain an active role in their children’s lives, and “sole custody” is only awarded in rare circumstances.
Even at the earliest stages, it’s helpful to outline:
- A temporary parenting schedule
- How holidays and vacations will be handled
- How you’ll communicate with your co-parent
Remember, the court’s focus is always on the best interest of the child. Demonstrating your willingness to cooperate and provide stability is key.
Step 6: Consult a Family Law Attorney Early
Even if you’re still weighing your decision, consulting with a family law attorney early on can provide clarity and direction. An experienced attorney can explain:
- Your rights under California law
- What to expect if the case becomes contested
- Whether temporary orders for custody, support, or restraining orders are needed
- How to protect your assets and prevent unnecessary conflict
At Enright Family Law, we empower modern families by giving them the knowledge and strategy they need to move forward, even in uncertain times. You don’t have to wait until papers are filed to get the information you need.
Step 7: Prioritize Self-Care and Support Systems
Divorce can take a toll on your mental, physical, and emotional well-being. Now more than ever, it’s essential to:
- Eat well and stay active
- Set boundaries with your spouse during the separation process
- Build a network of friends, family, or professionals who can support you
- Limit exposure to unnecessary conflict, including on social media
Taking care of yourself is not selfish—it’s strategic. The stronger and more centered you are, the better equipped you’ll be to make thoughtful decisions for yourself and your family.
How We Can Help
At Enright Family Law in San Diego, we help modern families navigate divorce with respect, clarity, and a forward-thinking approach. Whether you’re exploring your options or ready to begin the legal process, our experienced team is here to help you take the right first steps—legally, emotionally, and financially.
We listen without judgment, provide tailored legal solutions, and offer compassionate guidance through every stage of your divorce. No matter how complex your family or finances may be, you don’t have to face it alone.
Reach out to Enright Family Law today to schedule a confidential consultation and start planning your next chapter with confidence.
